


The Rescue

by lionofwrath



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Consensual Sex, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Rape, Physical Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:57:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionofwrath/pseuds/lionofwrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a kink meme prompt.<br/>Hux walks in on Snoke torturing Ren and rescues him. Now he just needs to keep them both safe, help Ren heal, and deal with his own feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The full prompt:  
> So, after a mission gone wrong, Snoke is very angry at Kylo Ren and punishes him (beats and rapes him)  
> During Kylo's punishment, Hux walks in and is shocked by what is happening. Snoke ignores his intrusion and continues to torture Kylo.  
> Kylo is screaming and crying in pain and the sight bothers Hux so much that he reacts without thinking.  
> Angry, Hux attacks Snoke (with secret force powers maybe?) and surprises him enough to grab an unresponsive Kylo and run.  
> After getting in an escape pod or ship Hux finally realizes what he's done and how much of a mess he's gotten himself and Kylo in.  
> He begins to panic, but snaps out of it when he hears Kylo begin to break down and sob.  
> Seeing that Kylo needs him to keep it together, he decides to take control and decides to head to a Resistance base for help.

_Normally pain is something that Kylo can handle, it feeds his anger, makes him stronger. He doesn’t feel any of that power as Snoke shoves him to the floor, tears his clothes off, holds him down. This isn’t the kind of pain he can bend to his will, this is raw violation and agony, and he struggles against it, trying to reach out to the Force anyway. It slips through his grasp like water and he screams in pain and frustration. Snoke senses his failure, laughs at him. His hands on Kylo’s hips are so cold, pressing him into the equally cold hard floor and Kylo’s spilled blood coats his bare skin, hot and wet in contrast._

_Snoke thrusts into him brutally and Kylo writhes under him, tries to fight back again. Something brushes against his mind and then alien thoughts are forcing their way past his defences, overwhelming him, tearing and ripping and Kylo screams helplessly at the mental intrusion. He can feel Snoke’s satisfaction, his pleasure as he rapes Kylo’s mind just as violently as his body. He keeps resisting weakly but the pain goes on and on until can’t take it anymore, until he gives up, closing his eyes and sobbing brokenly._

 

Hux heard the screaming echoing down the hallway from Snoke’s audience chamber and his steps faltered at the sound. It was an awful continuous wail of anguish that prickled the back of his neck and set his teeth on edge. He should keep walking, it was really none of his business, Ren had failed so the Supreme Leader’s punishment was well deserved. Hux reminded himself that he didn’t even like Ren. Still… Hux stared in indecision at the door. When the screaming abruptly cut off he shivered, the absolute silence was almost worse, the air heavy with anticipation. He knew it was foolish even as he squared his shoulders, steeling himself, and entered the room.

Hux paused just inside the door and as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the minimal lighting he became aware of a soft, wet sound emanating from somewhere in the gloom. The Supreme Leader wasn’t seated in his throne, Hux’s searching gaze finally found him crouched on the ground over something and it took Hux longer than it should have to realise it was a body. He didn’t particularly want to get any closer but the same morbid curiosity that had made him come in here in the first place pulled him forwards until he could see the scene playing out in front of him clearly. Immediately he wished he had listened to his better instincts and stayed out of the room.

Snoke was on top of Ren, fucking into him in short, sharp thrusts that made Ren whimper softly, the noises more animal than human. His eyes were closed, tears clearing the blood off his face as they dripped down his cheeks and his pale skin was covered in bruises, enough blood running from ugly wounds to create a shining pool under him that crept towards Hux. Ren’s fingers were tense claws digging into the floor, the rest of his body limp and unresponsive as Snoke assaulted him. Hux’s stomach turned as he watched, stunned into immobility by the horror in front of him. Snoke grunted, his face twisted in pleasure, and then he stilled, caressing Ren’s body possessively, cruelly.

Hux’s hand was already moving towards his blaster as Snoke stood, his only conscious thought the need to make this stop, to protect Ren. The Supreme Leader kicked his victim viciously and Hux drew his weapon and shot him in the back. His finger convulsed on the trigger, sent burning holes punching into the black robes until Snoke crumpled to the floor.

Hux didn’t waste time checking to see if he was dead or not, instead hauling Ren to his feet, staggering under the added weight. Asking Ren if he could walk was pointless when it was so obvious he couldn’t, but they had to move now. Holding onto Ren was tricky though, Hux’s hands were quickly slicked with blood and they slipped off Ren’s skin as Hux half-carried, half-dragged him to the door. He didn’t give himself a moment to think about what he had just done, his priority was to get them off this planet as fast as possible. Ren didn’t make a sound as Hux pulled him along, even though it must have hurt, but Hux couldn’t spare any time to be gentle. He winced at the bloody trail they were leaving in their wake.

Fortunately the corridors were almost deserted at this time of night and he headed for the closest hangar, fighting to keep his grip on the completely unresponsive Ren. The hangar was unguarded, once it would have made him angry about the lack of discipline in the troops but right now he was thankful for the lapse. Hux chose the nearest hyperspace capable ship and carried Ren up the ramp, dropping the wounded man off on a small cot in a room adjacent to the cockpit before sliding into the pilot’s chair.

When he reached to initiate the start-up sequence he caught sight of the blood coating his gloves, he glanced down at his equally drenched uniform and felt sick at the way it glistened. Hux couldn’t pull his soaked gloves off fast enough, disgust and panic making his movements clumsy. He fumbled his jacket off too, throwing it on the deck. His hands were shaking and he smoothed them through his messy hair, trying to calm himself before he opened a comm channel to the base control tower.

He invested all his authority into his voice as he spoke. ‘This is General Hux, launching from Hangar 5, acknowledge.’ There was a pause but Hux restrained from fidgeting, he was a First Order General, for a short while longer at least, and he would act the part, even if he was no longer dressed for it.

Eventually a hesitant voice responded. ‘Uh, permission granted, General. Have a nice flight?’

Hux grimaced and shut the link off without replying, reminding himself that right now he had bigger concerns than insubordination. The ship wasn’t shot down as it sped away from the planet and Hux was honestly surprised that his lucky streak was continuing. He wondered if it was good luck or bad that had led him this far. Hux plotted a course to a backwater dirtball not under the direct authority of the First Order or the Republic and sighed in relief as the ship entered the relative safety of hyperspace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter should have warnings of some kind but I honestly don't even know what, so, warnings for Hux tending Kylo's wounds in some detail. (And a total lack of medical knowledge on my part, heh)

_Kylo hides in the back of his own mind, trying to protect himself from the assault. The rest of his mind is shattered into pieces as sharp as broken glass and when he tentatively reaches out it cuts him. The outside world isn’t any better, he can feel the pain his body is in and he doesn’t want to return to that either. It’s a shock when something changes, Snoke’s mind leaving his in a shriek of rage. Kylo wants to know what happened but he’s scared and weak and he stays hidden instead._

_When he finally wakes up again he doesn’t know where he is, he’s in a strange bed and he hurts so much he can’t think straight. Usually he’s left to fend for himself but he knows someone else is here with him and Kylo reaches out tentatively with the Force. The mind he brushes against is solid and strong and familiar. Hux. Kylo can’t read more than that, he’s exhausted and in pain and the effort is too much for him. He withdraws to his aching body and doesn’t even try to stop the tears._

 

Hux stared blankly out the viewport as the stars streaked by, the sight a dizzying echo of his own racing mind. He had shot the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Whether or not Snoke was dead was irrelevant, the mere fact that Hux had drawn a weapon on him was a death sentence. And he had done it for Ren, of all people. Had thrown away everything he had worked so hard to build, his home, his dreams, his entire life. To save Ren. Hux was reasonably sure that he was the stupidest man in the galaxy and he cursed himself for opening that door, he should have left well enough alone, stayed out of the affairs of Sith. The worst part was he didn’t regret it, not for a second, leaving Ren there had quite simply never been an option. What was he going to do now though? Spend the rest of his life on the run from the First Order? The anger felt good, and he let it grow, anger pushed the panic at his situation aside even if it didn’t help him think clearly.

He brooded in silence for a while, gradually becoming aware of a soft noise from somewhere behind him. Hux frowned, unable to pinpoint it at first until he realised it had to be Ren. He shoved himself out of the chair, pointedly disregarding the bloody clothes on the floor and slipped into the room he had stashed Ren in. He was curled up on the cot, knuckles white where they gripped the blanket and he was crying, harsh wracking sobs that shook his whole body, jarring his wounds in a way that looked painful. Hux froze at the sight, the anger draining out of him, replaced by concern. Ren was horribly injured, and since Hux had bothered to save him in the first place it was only practical to keep helping him. It had nothing to do with the way his heart clenched every time Kylo sobbed.

‘Ren?’ He tried. There was no response, not that he had expected one, he wondered if Ren could even hear him. ‘Kylo?’ That didn’t get him an acknowledgement either and Hux went for his last try, the one guaranteed to make Ren spitting mad. ‘Ben?’ The lack of reaction to that name scared him, Ren just kept crying and he was still bleeding and Hux told himself he was not panicking. He had no idea how to deal with this, he only had basic medical training meant for patching up battlefield wounds. Stopping the bleeding was probably a good first step though, Hux could manage that at least and he went to hunt down a medical kit. He came upon a small refresher while doing so and took the opportunity to clean his hands. There was no shower and Hux debated for a moment about how he could clean Ren up without one. Fixing some of his injuries was more important right now though and Hux sighed and put the thought with all the other things he would need to deal with later.

By the time he had found a medkit and returned, Ren had stopped crying. He was pressed into the wall adjoining the cot, arms clasped around his knees with the thin blanket only partly covering him, staring at Hux as he walked in. Kylo’s face was streaked with blood and tears, his eyes scared. He looked too young with all his defences stripped away, vulnerable, and Hux felt an irrational surge of protectiveness towards him. He raised the kit in his hand, moving nearer. ‘I’ll patch up some of your wounds.’

Ren hissed at him wordlessly, sliding further back despite his aggressiveness.

Hux paused, he was used to issuing orders but maybe he needed to phrase this as a request. ‘Will you let me help you?’

Ren watched him warily, then nodded in mute assent, slumping tiredly against the wall and letting the blanket fall off. Hux looked him over, trying to catalogue his injuries with a detachment he couldn’t quite manage. Kylo’s lips were split, one of his cheeks opened along the bone. Long finger-shaped bruises lined his neck, red marks where nails had cut the tender skin and Hux realised that Ren wasn’t speaking because he physically couldn’t.

Hux sat on the cot beside him and Ren flinched away. ‘I’m not going to hurt you.’ The words sounded trite to Hux but it seemed to be the right thing to say because Ren relaxed slightly. Hux opened the medpac, then reached up very slowly to dab at Ren’s cheek. Ren’s eyes followed his hand but he didn’t move as Hux smeared bacta across his wounds. It wasn’t hard to be gentle, Hux was able to admit to himself that he truly didn’t want to cause Kylo any more pain. He slid his fingers down to Ren’s neck and felt him freeze, terror flashing in his eyes as Hux touched the bruises. ‘It’s alright, Kylo.’ His own voice sounded strange to his ears.

Ren stared at him even harder then relaxed completely, arms falling to his sides, legs draped across the cot, the wall the only thing keeping him upright. Hux worried for a moment, but Ren’s eyes were still open, watching Hux with an expression that approached curiosity. There wasn’t time to dwell on it, Hux focussed back on his task. The limited supply of salve meant he needed to choose where to apply it carefully and he forced his feelings back down as he continued to assess Ren’s wounds. His chest and stomach were covered in minor cuts and scrapes and Hux dismissed them as unimportant. Of far more concern were the hand marks on Ren’s hips, ugly bruises with nail marks that mirrored those on his throat. Hux applied some of the salve to them, reaching across Ren’s body cautiously, touching only the parts he needed to. Blood and cum were dried on the inside of Kylo’s thighs and after an uncomfortable inspection Hux decided he didn’t have any major injuries there.

He sat back to look Ren in the eyes as he spoke. ‘May I see your back?’ The silence stretched between them but eventually Ren nodded and lay face down on the cot. Hux barely restrained his shocked gasp at the sight, Kylo was covered in bleeding welts from shoulders to thighs, he had been viciously whipped and rage surged up in Hux at the knowledge. He waited until his hand stopped shaking before smoothing the bacta across the wounds, Kylo hissing at the unavoidable pain. The urge to apologise threatened Hux but he swallowed the words, this wasn’t his fault and saying sorry wouldn’t change anything. He was as gentle as possible when he moved his hand lower, rubbing salve into Kylo’s marred skin. When he reached the edge of Kylo’s arse he paused, unsure of what to do, he knew Kylo probably had internal injuries that a small amount of bacta wouldn’t fix, it was all he had though.

‘I need to… I’m going to…’ Hux stammered, swearing at himself in his head. He started again. ‘I’m going to put some of this salve inside you, is that alright?’ Ren visibly tensed then nodded stiffly, Hux didn’t miss how his fingers curled into the sheets. He attempted to be quick and clinical, pushing a bacta-slicked finger inside Kylo, twisting in order to get as much of the healing salve where it was needed. Kylo whimpered pathetically as Hux moved inside him, his hands winding tighter into the sheets. Hux pulled out, grimacing in disgust at the mess on his hand and left hurriedly, heading for the refresher. He watched the sonics clean his hands and tried desperately not to think about anything, especially not badly injured dark-haired Sith.


	3. Chapter 3

_Kylo skims the surface of Hux’s mind, not just as a distraction from the pain but because he’s surprised at the worry and kindness he senses. He’s not used to someone feeling genuine concern over him and the sensation warms him, even if it is from Hux. Hux is careful and gentle and Kylo relaxes because it’s so nice to be cared for, to have someone help him when he’s hurt. The sudden flashes of anger and disgust are unpleasant, disrupting his attempt at calm and Hux leaves so fast afterwards, as though he can’t bear to be around Kylo anymore. That hurts too but he’s too tired to figure out why and falls into an uneasy sleep instead._

 

Hux returned to the cockpit, unable to face Ren again, not when he couldn’t keep the images of that abused body out of his head. He was convinced he had done the right thing by getting Ren out of there but his surety wasn’t going to help them stay out of the grasp of the First Order. Hux needed a proper plan, which was fortunately one of his strengths, and he needed it before the ship dropped out of hyperspace and could be tracked again. He frowned at the controls in front of him, the beginnings of an idea formulating. Ditching the ship was the best first move, hopefully selling it off and earning enough to buy another less-noticeable one. If not, Hux might have to resort to stealing a ship, though that carried the danger of yet more people hunting them.

They couldn’t stay on the planet though, Hux had already dismissed that as an option, they would be far too easy to find and have nowhere to run. He crossed his arms, idly tapping his fingers as he thought. They would be easy to find, and not just because of the obviously First Order ship, it was entirely possible a bounty had already been placed on their heads. If holos and descriptions of them were circulating they would have to disguise themselves somehow while on the planet.

Hux wondered if Ren was in any condition to assist him if necessary, physical activity was most likely out of the question but what about the Force? The only way he would get an answer to that was to ask Ren directly and he glanced almost guiltily over his shoulder. He couldn’t see the room Ren was in from here but he felt the presence of the other man as a weight on him. It had been cowardly to run from Ren like he had, he knew that, but Hux had never been particularly good at analysing his own feelings. And now was not the time or the place to start, he warned himself. Where had he been? Right, disguises, possibly there was something on the ship that could be useful, Hux pried himself from the chair and went to take a thorough inventory.

Hux was now positive his luck was the bad kind, this ship had been in the process of being restocked when he had stolen it and it lacked several basic amenities. He was rather inclined to thank some sort of deity that there had been a complete medkit because there was very little else. Certainly nothing that would aid in concealing their identities. At least a few food rations were still present and as Hux pulled them out to check his stomach made a frankly embarrassing noise. He poked at the rations in disgusted fascination, choosing one to gnaw on. It tasted even worse than it looked but he resolved to choke it down anyway, no sense in being hungry. Hux’s thoughts strayed to Ren once more, he gazed at the food and sighed. He wouldn’t be able to avoid Ren forever and bringing food seemed like an acceptable apology. Not that he needed to apologise, he reminded himself, he had gone to wash his hands, that was all.

Ren was huddled up in the blanket against the wall again when Hux arrived and he paused, unsure if Ren was awake at first. His eyes opened though and he gave Hux a puzzled look.

‘Do you want something to eat?’ Hux asked, holding the rations out. Ren blanched and shook his head and Hux dropped his hand to his side with a shrug.

_Where are we?_ The voice sounded directly inside Hux’s head and he started, narrowing his eyes at Ren.

‘On a ship.’ He said, trying to be nice.

_Obviously._ He could hear Ren’s derisive snort even though it wasn’t actually audible. _Which ship? Why?_

The question surprised Hux. ‘You don’t remember?’

_Remember what?_ Ren snapped impatiently.

‘Snoke raped you.’ The word cut into his tongue as he said it.

Ren flinched but his eyes were challenging. _So?_ His tone was flippant and Hux ground his teeth. No one else could get Hux riled up over, well, anything, quite like Ren.

‘What do you mean, so.’ He bit the word off.

_When did you start giving a shit about me?_ Ren’s voice in his mind was an angry hiss but his face was closed off and unreadable.

Hux was about to unleash an equally angry retort but suddenly he just didn’t have the energy to spare on a fight, not when he had so many other things to worry about. ‘I don’t know.’ He admitted honestly, running his free hand through his hair, and he must have been tired because for some reason he kept talking. ‘But I couldn’t just leave you there, I had to make him stop hurting you, I needed to-’ Keep you safe, protect you. Hux managed to stop himself before the rest of the sentence came out. Sounding like half a fool was better than a complete one.

Ren stared at him, horror in his eyes and his voice. _What have you done, Hux?_

‘I shot him, carried you to a ship, stole it.’ Hux said matter-of-factly. ‘We’re fugitives.’

Ren’s face went slack in shock. _You...you did that for me?_ His mental tone was awed, hopeful even.

Hux’s first instinct was to snap back that he would have done it for anyone, a lie to piss Ren off, but he couldn’t make himself be that cruel, not when Kylo still looked like an abused child. He didn’t want to have this confusing conversation anymore and he tossed the rations onto the cot before leaving. ‘Eat something if you want, we’ll be landing soon.’

Hux swore when he realised he was fleeing Ren’s presence yet again. What was wrong with him, every time he got near the man he started having feelings and he didn’t like it. Yes, you do, whispered a traitorous part of his mind and he swore more to drown it out. He would not be distracted, his plans weren’t fully complete and it could mean both their lives if he wasn’t prepared. That thought was enough to assist him in regaining his focus and he continued his search around the ship, hoping in vain that he had missed something useful the first time around. Of course he hadn’t, he wasn’t a man who missed much, but it occupied his mind temporarily.

Hux was crouched on the deck, rummaging in a storage compartment when he heard uneven footsteps behind him. He spun around quickly, startled, coming face to blanket-covered groin with Ren. The blanket did nothing to hide the bruises and abrasions on Ren’s legs and Hux winced at the sight as he stood.

‘Should you be up with your injuries?’ It came out harsher than he had meant it to.

Ren bristled at the tone. _I do know how to heal myself._

That was a relief and some of the heaviness in Hux’s stomach ebbed away. Ren was gripping the doorframe hard though despite his words and Hux wondered if he could stand unaided. ‘Maybe you should be in bed healing yourself then.’

Ren sneered at him, the expression made even uglier by his split lips. He sagged against the doorframe, dropping his head and if Hux hadn’t been so afraid to touch him he would have leaped forward to hold Ren. _I was looking for the shower._ He sounded dejected.

‘There isn’t one.’ Hux said helpfully.

_Well, I know that now._ Ren was irritated enough that he raised his head again to glare at Hux. _What about clothing? You find any of that?_

‘No.’ Hux ran his gaze across Ren, the blanket really didn’t cover much and he was going to have to leave the ship. ‘Tie the blanket around your waist and you can wear my jacket.’ Hux suggested, rather reasonably he thought.

Ren rolled his eyes. _I’ll look ridiculous._

‘No more than usual.’ Hux shot back. And here they were arguing again, Hux held up a hand in appeasement. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t want to fight. We have much bigger concerns to focus on right now.’

Ren seemed about to continue arguing but finally he nodded. _I’m guessing you have a plan then?_

‘Enough of one. How well can you use the Force? I need to know if I can factor that into my plans.’

_You can’t. I can’t._ Ren’s mental voice was soft. _It hurts too much, he- he was in my head and it hurt._ The last word was a wail of pain and Hux winced and closed his eyes as the noise reverberated in his skull.

When he opened them again Kylo’s hands were tangled in his hair, pulling hard at the strands, shaking his head as if to dislodge something. ‘Stop, Ren.’ Hux didn’t want to grab at him, especially now that he had dropped the blanket but he was causing himself pain. ‘Kylo, stop.’ Hux reached out, grasping Ren’s hands, prying his fingers out of his hair gently. Kylo stared at Hux with wild, lost eyes then collapsed against him, the weight staggering Hux and sending them both to the deck. His knees hit hard but Hux ignored the sharp pain, more concerned with Kylo. He was still holding onto Kylo’s hands and was about to drop them when Kylo started to cry, unexpectedly burying his face in Hux’s chest. Hux released his hands and Kylo wrapped his arms around Hux, clinging to him, nails digging into his back even through his shirt. He tentatively placed his arms around Kylo in return, being very careful not to rub against the welts on his back. Hux wasn’t a particularly sympathetic or tender man even at his best but that fierce protectiveness was surging up in him again, overwhelming his thoughts. ‘I will never let anyone hurt you again.’ He promised, meaning every word, and held Kylo while he wept.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo eventually stopped crying and hastily extricated himself from Hux’s arms, snatching his blanket and limping out the door faster than Hux would have thought he could move. He frowned, hoping none of Ren’s wounds had reopened after that overexertion. Chasing after Ren was something he briefly considered but decided against. They would start arguing again or even worse, talk to each other, and Hux couldn’t cope with all the feelings Kylo made him experience. He had had enough of that for today. If it was still today, he hadn’t checked a chrono lately. Hux ran his hands through his hair, it niggled at him that he couldn’t seem to keep it neat. Well, he wasn’t a general any longer, maybe he didn’t need to keep his hair neat either and he resolved to leave it alone. He sighed instead, something else he seemed to be developing a habit of doing lately, and turned back to the storage compartment he had been searching.

It yielded nothing, as it had before, and Hux went back to the cockpit to see how much time he had left before the ship exited hyperspace. He couldn’t help glancing at Ren as he went by, he was huddled in the small cot again, his head covered by an arm.

Not long until they arrived and Hux picked up his discarded jacket and gloves from the cockpit’s deck. They were both stained in blood, the sight made him grimace but he tucked the gloves in his belt anyway, unwilling to leave anything on-board the ship that could be traced back to them.

He went to see Ren, looking him over with a critical eye. ‘Do you need a doctor?’

_No, I can take care of myself._ Ren’s response was petulant.

Yes, you’re doing an excellent job of that, Hux swallowed his response, replaced it with an order. ‘Put this on and don’t leave the ship until I get back.’ He threw the jacket on top of Ren who let it hit him without comment. Hux glared at him for emphasis and left Ren to his own devices.

The voice from the control tower that directed him to a landing zone was beyond disinterested in relaying instructions to him and didn’t even ask for his name or that of his ship. Hux was fine with that, the more anonymity they could retain the safer they would be. Actually securing a place to put the ship down was trickier than he had anticipated, there seemed to be no order to the pattern of ships arriving and departing. He swore loudly as another ship almost collided with his, swerving at the last moment.

_Maybe you should have let me drive._ Ren laughed in his head.

Hux restrained from yelling at him with all the willpower he could muster while trying to land a ship without crashing.

He took a moment to calm his racing heart, glared at Ren again on general principle as he went by, and finally exited the ship. Hux felt exposed as he walked down the ramp, but a quick survey of the area showed that he was being paranoid, this was obviously the kind of place where everyone minded their own business. It was better to be paranoid than blindsided by the unexpected though and he kept his guard up, resting his hand casually on his holster. Not that he was expecting his name and face to be widely broadcast, the First Order wouldn’t want it publicly known that two of its most senior leaders had deserted.

There were other reasons to be cautious in a place like this though. One of which was heading straight for him, an unattractive alien of indeterminate species. At least it was alone, though Hux wasn’t confidant of the outcome if a fight broke out.

‘You wanna sell?’ It flapped an appendage at Hux’s ship.

‘Yes.’

The alien made a shrieking noise that Hux realised was laughter. ‘All you First Order scum the same, all want out.’ It made the noise again.

Hux frowned at the implication that deserters were common, about to retort when he remembered he didn’t actually care anymore. He got straight to the point, the less time they spent here the better. ‘I want to trade it for another ship.’

‘Not worth much. Trade for that one.’ The alien pointed at a ship in some serious need of repairs.

Hux wasn’t sure the decrepit thing could get off the ground. He sneered at it. ‘My ship is worth more than that pile of junk.’

The alien hissed and jabbed it’s appendage at his chest aggressively. ‘You take what I offer, First Order scum.’

‘You want to offer us your best ship.’ The voice came from behind Hux, low and rasping but no less intense for that. Hux turned, keeping the alien in his sightline and watched Ren walk slowly down the ramp.

The alien made it’s laughing noise. ‘Crazy human.’

‘You want to offer us your best ship.’ Ren insisted, one of his hands reaching out in a clawing motion. Despite his faltering steps his hand and voice were steady.

‘I want to offer you my best ship.’ The alien repeated, mesmerised. ‘Come human.’ It motioned to them and waddled off.

‘I thought you said you couldn’t use the Force to help.’ Hux hissed quietly as Ren got closer. Ren glanced at him quickly and Hux could see the sweat running down his face, the tension in his clenched jaw. He didn’t reply and Hux didn’t ask again, opting to follow the alien instead while Ren was still in control.

The ship they were led to was extremely nice, possibly too nice considering they were supposed to be fleeing the First Order not taking a pleasure cruise. They were starting to attract a few curious looks from the other beings in the vicinity though, probably due to Ren’s bloodstained bedsheet.

Hux sighed as the alien extolled the virtues of the ship it didn’t actually want to give them and interrupted it. ‘We’ll take it.’

The alien nodded happily, blissfully unaware that it was essentially being robbed. Hux was impressed at Ren’s abilities, especially since he had been so adamant against using them.

‘You owe us some credits too.’ Ren’s voice cracked and Hux looked at him sharply. Ren’s nose was bleeding and he licked at the fresh blood on his lips absently as he Forced the alien to pull out a handful of credits.

‘Kylo.’ Concerned, Hux reached out to touch him.

Ren flinched away, eyes still fixed on the alien but his words were addressed to Hux. ‘Take them.’

Hux turned back to the alien who dumped the pile of credits into his outstretched hand. He counted them and stowed them in his pocket.

‘You won’t remember us.’ Ren said Forcefully. ‘We’re only a pair of deserting stormtroopers.’

‘Pair of deserting stormtroopers.’ The alien assented and left at Ren’s will.

Ren dropped his hand and swayed on his feet, Hux grabbed at his arms to keep him upright. ‘You shouldn’t have done that.’ Hux accused.

_I thought you needed the help, you seemed to be having some trouble convincing him._ Ren’s tone was sarcastic as he switched to mental communication again but he leaned heavily on Hux.

Hux couldn’t think of a snappy comeback fast enough, thrown off by Ren potentially re-injuring himself.

_Get some supplies on this thing and get it off the ground, I’m going to take a shower._ Ren pushed off him to stagger up the ramp.

Despite his worry Hux was seething at Ren issuing orders. His practical nature reasserted itself, pointing out that Ren was right and Hux grimaced and headed onto the ship to see how well-stocked it was. Ren had tossed his dirty garments on the deck in a short trail leading to the refresher and Hux dodged them in annoyance, Ren could pick up his own damn mess.

The ship appeared to be ready for take-off, Hux found everything he could ask for on a lengthy voyage including a stash of interesting, possibly illegal, weaponry. He paused as he walked back through where Ren had dropped his sheet. Some actual and clean clothing for both of them would be a good idea, he had more than enough credits now. The idle thought of Ren having to continue walking around naked made his face heat and he shook his head hard to dislodge the image. Ren was depending on him. Even if Hux liked him, which he didn’t, he reminded himself firmly, he wouldn’t take advantage of someone he was caring for and who was injured. Enough daydreaming, he would purchase some clothing and then they could get off this planet and back into the safety of open space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, progress! I finally got them off the ship! And straight onto another one! ~~this one has bigger beds though~~


	5. Chapter 5

Hux spent more time wandering around the small bazaar just outside the landing area than he would have liked. He had never been on a backwater planet as anything other than a conqueror and it was a very different experience to be a civilian looking to buy something. And possibly even more dangerous, he kept one hand on his blaster and the other on his credits. Most of the other customers avoided him anyway, giving him sideways glances and he eventually realised it was due to his bloodstained clothing. That was perfectly fine with Hux and he bared his teeth in a snarl to give them more incentive to leave him alone.

It appeared that anything one could ever wish for was available for sale here, several of the stalls stretched into back alleys that Hux wasn’t about to peer into but he finally found a woman selling simple clothing. Haggling was a new experience for him, she was a shrewd dealer but Hux rather enjoyed arguing with someone other than Ren for once. The woman drove a hard bargain and they were both unhappy in the end, which Hux assumed meant the transaction had been satisfactory. He gave the woman an almost genuine smile as he paid, hopefully he wouldn’t be overly memorable amongst her other buyers.

Hux hurried back to the ship, aware of how much time he had just wasted. He ducked into a room to dump the clothes on a bed before he made for the cockpit, taking a moment to ascertain that Ren was still in the refresher.

Tension he hadn’t noticed he was carrying eased as the ship rose above the planet and Hux flew it into open space. His hand hesitated over the hyperspace controls as he realised he didn’t have any idea where they should be heading next. If he was totally honest with himself he had expected to be captured by now. Getting this far and being better off than they were when they had first run was even more of a surprise. Maybe he needed to rethink his bad luck theory. Hux set a course to another backwater world for lack of a better option and relaxed into the very comfortable pilot’s chair as the computer took over.

What he really needed was a shower and some sleep, he had been awake for much too long. He started to run a hand through his hair then paused as his thoughts strayed to Ren, he could use some real sleep too, not just the restless naps he had been taking. Had Ren eaten anything recently? Hux frowned, he couldn’t remember. Groaning, he pulled himself from the plush chair and wandered in the direction of the galley to see what there was to eat.

He was eyeing an odd-looking appliance on the counter in suspicion when Ren contacted him.

 _Hux?_ He didn’t startle too much at the mental prod, he was getting used to it. Ren sounded unsure as he continued. _Can you hel- come here?_

Hux frowned at the question and headed for the refresher, concerned at Ren’s mental tone. He knocked on the door and Ren opened it to let him in. Hux froze in the doorway, he had seen Ren naked almost constantly since this disaster had started but he was shocked at how terrible the man actually looked. Without the mess of dried blood to conceal them the cuts and bruises were even more raw and obvious, red slashes and purple marks across his too-pale skin.

Ren was holding a container of bacta that he fiddled with instead of looking at Hux. _I can’t reach my back._

‘It’s alright, I’ll do it.’ Hux said, automatically taking the proffered salve. He braced himself as Ren turned around. His back was worse than Hux had expected, with the blood gone he could see faint scars that ran along the same paths as the new wounds. He stared at the slowly healing welts, long-buried memories creeping into the edges of his tired mind and he snarled, shoving them back down where they belonged.

 _Hux? What’s wrong?_ Ren queried him, obviously sensing the change in his mood.

‘I didn’t realise he had done this to you before.’ Hux used his anger at Ren’s state to deflect the question from himself. Ren didn’t respond, and Hux didn’t pursue it. Instead he smoothed the salve across Ren’s back carefully, feeling him relax under the gentle touches.

 _Your hands are nice and warm._ Ren mumbled, it seemed like more of a passing thought than an attempt at conversation and Hux chose not to reply.

When he had finished coating Ren’s back in the salve, Ren glanced over his shoulder to give him a faint smile and Hux took it as a silent thank you.

He left Ren alone while he went to fetch the clothing from where he had dropped it earlier then knocked on the refresher door again to hand a pile to Ren. ‘You should eat before you go to bed.’

Ren shook his head. _Too tired, not hungry._

Hux didn’t have the energy to argue the point. He wandered the ship waiting for Ren to head to his room, then went to the refresher to take his own shower. It was a relief to shed his bloody clothes and he stood under the sonics for a long time, too exhausted to move.

As he came out of the refresher he glanced in the direction of Ren’s closed door, he had chosen the nicest room, Hux noticed, but he didn’t begrudge Ren that. Hux picked another cabin at random and fell into the bed, letting sleep take him.

Hux bolted awake, hand instinctively reaching for the blaster he always kept near his bed. His mind was sluggish but his reflexes had him crouched on the floor defensively before he was fully aware. When his brain finally caught up to his body he realised exactly what had woken him. Screaming. It echoed from the hallway and the familiarity of both the sound and the situation made his skin crawl.

Kylo. Hux ran to Ren’s room, shoving the door open to stumble inside. Kylo was thrashing on the bed, screaming wordlessly, tears running down his cheeks. Hux moved forward, stopped as he reached Kylo, he knew grabbing him would only make the situation worse. ‘Kylo!’ He had to shout to be heard over the screaming. ‘Wake up!’ Nothing. ‘Kylo!’

A hand lashed out at him and Hux reflexively caught it, wrapping his fingers around Kylo’s wrist. As he suspected that only fueled the nightmare and Kylo writhed harder to free himself. ‘You’re safe, it’s me, Hux.’ What sounded inane to him must have reached Kylo in his delirium because to his complete surprise it worked and Kylo stopped struggling.

‘Hux.’ He mumbled, his eyes partially open but glazed. ‘Hux, Hux, Hux.’ Kylo repeated his name like a mantra, tugging on his trapped wrist feebly. Hux let him go and Kylo wrapped his hand around Hux’s wrist instead. His other hand came up to find Hux’s face, running searching fingers across his forehead, his cheek, trailing over his lips. Hux didn’t move, was afraid to even breathe in case it disturbed Kylo’s newfound calm. ‘Stay.’ He pleaded, his fingers still resting on Hux’s lips. He gazed into Kylo’s dark fearful eyes and couldn’t say no.

He let Kylo pull him down onto the bed, grateful that it was bigger than the cot in the other ship. Kylo didn’t want to give him his own space though, clinging onto Hux with unexpected strength. He conceded to put his arms around Kylo as well and the other man sighed and tucked closer into his chest. Hux heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep. It took Hux longer to return to his rest, he wasn’t used to sleeping next to another person and definitely not to being held. Even after sex he usually kicked his partner out of bed, it was better, safer, to be alone and he preferred it anyway. Apparently Kylo didn’t, just one more surprising thing about him. Hux sighed and rested his chin on the top of Kylo’s head, content to stay if it helped Kylo to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally figured out what time frame I am setting this in! Which makes it an AU from roughly after the scenes on Jakku.

Kylo untangled himself from Hux when they woke again, neither of them saying anything about what had occurred between them. The ship was big enough that they could avoid each other and Hux claimed the lounge as his personal territory for the day.

 

Hux flipped through the entertainment materials in utter boredom. Being cooped up on a ship was usually not particularly exciting anyway and he found that he actually missed reading reports and dealing with minor emergencies, at least that kept his mind occupied. He stared at the datapad in his hand, unsure of what he was even looking at and threw it onto the table in annoyance, leaning back in his chair to stare at the wall instead.

He didn’t want to have time to think, it made him realise just how badly he had fucked everything up. The truth was he was overwhelmed by their situation and the uncertainty of what his future now held scared him in a way he hadn’t felt for a long time. His entire life had been directed towards one particular goal, the acquisition of power. He was used to being in control, had worked his way up the ranks so that he would be the one to issue orders and not be forced to obey them. Obedience made him think of his father and he shivered, his father would disapprove of what he had done and the memory of that disapproval chilled him even further. The combination of seeing the abuse that had been inflicted on Ren and his feelings of losing control over his own life were bringing back far too many memories of his childhood.

He pushed the thoughts away, taking care of Ren was enough of a purpose for now and he focussed on that, on keeping him safe. As if thinking of Ren had summoned him, Hux suddenly became aware of his presence in the room.

‘I should kill you for what you did.’ The voice was low and threatening.

Hux turned the chair around to find Ren standing behind him, rage and confusion on his face. ‘That would be very poor thanks for saving you.’ He replied flatly.

Ren’s hands thumped down heavily on the back of the chair on either side of Hux’s head and he tensed as Ren loomed over him, craning his neck to keep his eyes on Ren’s face. Ren glared down at him. ‘You injured my master.’

Even in a situation like this Hux’s mind raced at the information. Not that he had expected one man with a blaster to be able to kill a creature like Snoke, but Hux would have to ask Ren if he knew for certain that the Supreme Leader was still alive. Later, he amended, if he survived this encounter. ‘I saved you.’ He reminded Ren, wondering if that even mattered to him in his current mood, whatever that actually was.

One of Ren’s hands tangled in his hair, forcing his head back further until Hux gasped in pain. He dug his fingers into the chair arms and didn’t fight back. Ren’s expression was still angry and unsure as his other hand slid down to land on Hux’s shoulder, thumb brushing across his collarbone to press into the hollow of his throat. Hux swallowed hard against the pressure and Ren increased it, his fingers curling around the back of Hux’s neck.

‘Are you going to kill me then?’ Hux hissed angrily, not quite struggling. Ren’s face was so open and easy to read, it was no wonder he had worn a mask, but the storm of emotion that flitted across his face was too fast to glean anything from. He leaned forwards, lips parting and for a brief, wild moment Hux thought Ren was going to kiss him instead.

‘No.’ Ren said shortly, the word breaking the trance that had held them both. Despite how much it hurt, Hux felt almost disappointed as Ren’s hands left him, their warmth lingering on his skin. He coughed shallowly, rubbing at his throat, trying to breathe properly again.

Ren sat down in one of the other chairs with a huff, and Hux didn’t miss the guilty look Ren shot him before glancing away quickly. ‘I’m sorry.’ Ren finally mumbled softly, looking at him again. ‘I shouldn’t have hurt you, you’ve been nothing but kind to me.’

Hux blinked in surprise at Ren’s concession, he hadn’t expected it.

‘I feel lost. All he ever gave me was pain but at least it was a constant. Now…’ Ren waved a hand vaguely to encompass the ship, then looked back at Hux. ‘What do we do now?’ Ren gazed at him hopefully and he wanted to scream, because he didn’t know either but Ren was relying on him and Hux had to be the strong one.

‘I’ll think of something.’ He promised and Ren smiled a bit at the words.

They sat in silence that began to stretch to an uncomfortable length and Hux cast about for a safer topic to discuss.

Ren assisted him by unexpectedly speaking up. ‘Have you found any hidden compartments yet?’

‘What?’ Hux was completely thrown by the question.

Ren snorted. ‘You saw the alien that gave us this ship, and, really, just look at it. He was definitely involved in some kind of racket.’

Hux’s curiosity was aroused now. ‘You think he was smuggling something?’

Ren nodded and leaped up, studying the walls and floor with a practiced gaze. Hux watched him in interest, he assumed this was something Ren’s father had taught him but he was loath to ask, he knew how badly Ren reacted to mentions of his parents.

‘Here.’ Ren smacked a panel in the floor with his fist and it popped open. He reached in and pulled out a small bag, waving it triumphantly.

‘Wonderful, now we can be arrested for drug trafficking as well as desertion.’ Hux groaned.

Ren actually laughed at that, a surprisingly pleasant sound. ‘It looks like some kind of spice. I suppose we could sell it, make a few extra credits.’

‘You… know where to sell something like that?’ Hux said slowly. ‘Actually, wait, I’m not sure I want an answer to that.’

Ren laughed again in reply and Hux almost grinned back, enjoying their easy banter. ‘There’s some weapons around too. Could you sell what we don’t want of those?’

‘I’ll take a look.’ Ren walked back over to retake his seat, dropping the bag on the table.

Hux picked it up cautiously, examining the contents, then put it down again and looked at Ren. ‘Any other talents you have that might be useful while we’re on the run?’

Ren shrugged. ‘I can probably get us a good deal on ship parts, I know how to barter in a few different languages. I’m good with mechanical things, I could do any repairs we need. Maybe a few other things, we’ll see if something comes up.’

Hux had to admit that Ren seemed to have a better skill set for being out here than he did. His upbringing had consisted mostly of the curriculum of an Imperial Academy, which did have its own uses at certain times, he supposed. ‘Maybe I should leave you in charge of the ship then.’ He did know how to delegate.

Ren smiled slowly. ‘Sure.’

 

It wasn’t until later that Hux realised they had managed the rest of the day without devolving into an argument over every trivial detail. He considered that a success, if they were going to be stuck together it was nice not to be fighting constantly.

Ren hesitated at the door to his room as they prepared for bed. ‘Hux?’

‘Hmm?’ He watched Ren shuffle his feet uncomfortably.

‘Will you stay with me again?’ His voice was plaintive and he glanced back up at Hux with hope in his eyes.

Hux knew he should say no but the word was out of his mouth before he was able to stop himself. ‘Yes.’

Ren gave him a shy half-smile and Hux suddenly couldn’t imagine ever seeing anything more beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse this (mostly) silly chapter. It won't happen again, I swear.

Hux looked over the ship carefully, paying only a passing attention to the other occupants of the hangar. He sighed as he realised he would have to deal with one of the parts sellers, he should have made Kylo do it but he had dashed off as soon as they had landed. It irritated him that he couldn’t even remember if Ren had said something or simply left.

The alien behind the counter had an extremely vague grasp of Basic and Hux was starting to despair when a man beside him said something to the vendor and the alien nodded and turned to grab a part. Hux turned to the man in annoyance, ready with an accusation of jumping the queue but when he got a look at the man he hesitated. He was older, handsome, with an easy smile, and something about him seemed incredibly familiar even though Hux was positive they had never met before.

The man grinned at him. ‘Don’t worry, kid, I’ll help you out.’ Being called kid made him bristle but he did get what he wanted when the dealer returned.

‘Thanks.’ He said coolly to the man.

‘No problem.’ He kept grinning.

‘Han!’ A woman’s voice called out and the man turned to wave at the girl who had called out to him as she walked off a ship.

Han? Hux groaned inwardly, praying to all the gods he didn’t believe in that what he suspected was happening was not actually happening. He studied the man again, even more carefully this time. ‘Han Solo?’ He said, attempting to sound casual.

‘Yep, heard of me have you?’ The grin seemed to be a permanent feature of his face.

Hux just stared at him. ‘Uh, yes.’ Thankfully Solo didn’t seem to recognise him as being a certain red-haired ex-First Order general. He did seem to be waiting for something though and Hux realised belatedly it was his name. ‘Uh, I’m Aldous.’ He winced inwardly at using his hated first name but he couldn’t make anything else up fast enough.

Solo just smiled and nodded. ‘Nice to meet you, Aldous.’

‘I should go.’ He pointed over his shoulder at his ship.

‘Listen, kid, I know it’s none of my business but… are you running from the First Order?’

Hux couldn’t keep the surprise off his face. ‘How did...?’

Solo’s face had become grim. ‘You’re trying but you can’t quite hide that military bearing, and with that accent-’

‘Yes. I deserted.’ Hux cut him off, concerned about this new line of questioning.

‘I heard the Resistance will take in deserters.’ Solo said, obviously meaning it kindly.

‘Ah.’ Hux replied without interest, desperate to end the conversation.

Solo remained oblivious to his impatience, or maybe he just didn’t care. ‘Something to think about, better than spending your life running.’

Hux was forced to admit Solo had a very good point, he had been wondering about that himself lately.

Solo kept watching him, his expression morose. ‘My son ran away when he was young and joined the First Order. He’d be about your age by now.’

The sadness in his voice made Hux study him again, reassessing. The little he knew about Ren’s parents was filtered through Ren’s own particular way of viewing the world and, even allowing for exaggeration, Solo wasn’t what he had expected. Hux was almost tempted to continue talking to him when there was a sudden piercing series of beeps that made both him and Solo look round in annoyance.

The sound was coming from an orange ball of a droid that had been rolling towards Solo. Hux stared at it in horror as he realised it was the Resistance droid the First Order had been searching so hard for.

Solo frowned at it. ‘I don’t understand, BB-8.’ The droid rolled back and forth in panic, still beeping wildly then took off in the opposite direction as Solo stared after it curiously.

‘Droids, eh?’ Hux laughed unconvincingly. ‘I, uh, need to go.’ Solo treated him to a bewildered look as well as Hux took off running for his ship, screaming in his head for Ren.

_What?_ Came the irritated reply.

We need to go now, he shouted back, now!

_I’m coming._ His panic must have transmitted because he could hear the worry in Ren’s voice.

Hux spared a look over his shoulder as he pelted up the ramp. The young woman had returned with the droid and she was talking to Solo, gesturing at Hux as the droid beeped frantically.

He started the ship as Ren slid into the cockpit and dropped into the co-pilot’s chair. ‘What the hell is going on?’ He demanded.

‘We were discovered.’ Hux said tightly, trying to get the ship into the air.

Ren gaped out the viewport. ‘Is that…?’

‘Your father? Yes. He has that Resistance droid the First Order is looking for.’ Hux didn’t spare Ren a glance as he forced the ship into the upper atmosphere.

Ren’s hands flew over his own controls. ‘He’s following us.’

Hux grunted in reply, quickly punching in hyperspace co-ordinates.

Something beeped. ‘Now he’s hailing us.’ Ren stated, unnecessarily.

‘Don’t reply.’ Hux said quickly. He could feel the exasperated look Ren gave him.

‘I wasn’t going to.’

Hux finally got the hyperdrive going and the viewport blurred into stars as he leaned back in his chair in relief.

Ren suddenly started to laugh and Hux gave him a cautious look. ‘We’ve been so worried about the First Order and we almost get found out by my father, of all people.’ Ren shook his head in disbelief.

‘If it helps at all, I don’t think he had any idea you were there. I don’t think he even knew who I was until the bloody droid showed up and threw a fit.’

Ren snickered even more at the story and Hux eventually succumbed to his own laughter as well.


	8. Chapter 8

‘Get what we need and get back on the ship as fast as possible.’ Hux reminded Ren needlessly. Thankfully, Ren didn’t argue with him for once, just took off on his own errand.

 

Hux swore and ducked back around a corner as he caught a glimpse of the stormtroopers. It had been a risk landing here, it was too close to First Order space, but they had been forced down for emergency repairs to their ship. He dodged the patrol, trying to keep an eye out for others as he weaved his way back to his ship.

‘Hands in the air and stay where you are.’ The order was filtered through a helmet and Hux raised his hands slowly, cursing silently as he turned to look at the pair of stormtroopers behind him. ‘Put your hands on the wall.’ Hux did so, staring at the cracks in the permacrete as one of them patted him down roughly, confiscating his weapons. His wrists were grabbed and violently twisted behind his back as the trooper put binders on him. He didn’t resist, not with a weapon pointed at his head. The stormtrooper pulled Hux around to face them, slamming him into the wall and he grunted in pain as his back collided with the hard surface.

‘Where’s Ren?’ The one with the blaster demanded.

Hux shrugged noncommittally. He wasn’t expecting the blow, the shock of being hit almost worse than the physical pain as his head snapped to the side, his lips splitting from the force. Hux closed his eyes as he tasted blood, feeling with his tongue where his teeth had cut the inside of his mouth.

‘Where is he?’

Hux’s attention returned to the soldier. He glared silently at his captor and the man hit him again, hard enough that Hux would have fallen if the man hadn’t been holding onto him, gripping his arm with bruising force. Hux spat blood onto the ground, stared at it dazed. He felt more blood running down his face and knew from experience his cheekbone was broken.

‘Tell us.’

Hux raised his head to look at the stormtrooper’s impassive mask. ‘No.’

The trooper punched him in the stomach, and the pain made him gag and double over, coughing harshly. Another strike between his shoulderblades drove him to his knees and he barely caught himself before his face hit the ground. Blood spattered the floor under him, dribbling thickly from his mouth as he panted, trying to breathe through the pain. He didn’t look up, didn’t want to see the man standing over him. -Don’t fight back and he won’t hurt you as much- and he snarled, pushing the memory away. Hux caught a glimpse of the trooper’s boot as it was aimed at him and he twisted at the last second, deflecting the kick slightly, not enough. He felt his ribs break, bit his bloody lips to stifle the scream. The stormtrooper grabbed his bound arms, wrenching him to his feet again and Hux couldn’t keep from moaning in pain as the man shoved him against the wall. He drew his armoured hand back, blood dripping off his glove and Hux tried to flinch away, waiting to be hit, bracing himself for the next assault.

‘Enough.’ He recognised that voice, and looked over as a tall chrome-clad figure appeared. She motioned angrily to the trooper pinning Hux to the wall to release him and the man obeyed reluctantly. Phasma didn’t seem happy about the beating her soldier had given him and Hux straightened up despite the pain, trying to regain some dignity.

‘Captain Phasma.’

‘Hux.’ He wasn’t sure if her omission of his previous title was a snub or a courtesy.

‘How did you find me?’

He knew she was smiling under her helmet as she replied. ‘You're not as clever as you think you are. People notice things, ships can be tracked.’

‘I’m touched that you came here personally to retrieve me.’ Hux sneered at her, uncaring that his lips tore open more, blood running down his chin.

‘You betrayed us.’ There was hurt and anger in her voice. ‘Where’s Ren?’

He shrugged, wincing as it jarred his wounds. ‘I don’t know.’

‘You’re lying.’ She didn’t sound sure though and Hux pressed his advantage.

‘He left, you know we can’t stand each other. You’ll have to make do with only me.’

She was considering it, he could tell from the way she tilted her head. ‘The Supreme Leader wants his knight back, but he is much angrier at you.’ Her voice softened. ‘He’s going to hurt you, Hux.’

‘I know.’ He stared her mask in the eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ Hux would be content with the knowledge that he had saved Kylo, even if it came at the expense of his own life.

She nodded slowly. ‘I hope he was worth it.’ Hux wondered at the inflection in the words but didn’t reply as she studied him and finally she turned away. She motioned to the stormtroopers and they formed up around the two of them at her order to march briskly back to their ship. Hux hoped Kylo stayed away, that he wouldn’t do anything foolish to try to save him. But there was a disturbance as they approached the landing area and Hux realised he hadn’t counted on just how enraged Ren would be.

An armoured body flew past him, crashing into the floor, neck at an unnatural angle. Hux cried out wordlessly in protest as the stormtroopers started shooting. To his relief none of their shots even came close to striking Ren, his face a sneer of contempt as he Force-tossed stormtroopers in all directions. Phasma looped her arm around Hux to pull him against her body, using him as a shield. ‘Stop!’ She yelled.

Ren turned towards her, his rage an almost tangible thing, coiling around him in red and black streaks. He narrowed his eyes at her and she tightened her grip on Hux.

‘Let him go.’ Ren growled, Force in every word.

Phasma’s arm trembled against Hux but she resisted the command, Hux was impressed despite the precarious situation. He felt her turn from side to side, checking the status of her troops. They were all either dead or incapacitated, he could tell that even from his awkward angle.

Ren stalked closer. ‘Let. Him. Go.’

‘I suppose I’m not returning with you after all, Hux.’ Phasma whispered, a smile in her voice. Before he had a chance to analyze why she sounded so pleased, she raised her arm and shoved him hard towards Ren. Hux staggered across the floor, wincing as he tripped. Ren caught him before he hit the ground, his strength augmented by the Force. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, Ren’s were full of fear and rage but he pulled Hux to his feet gently, helping him stand.

Then Ren’s face twisted in an ugly snarl as something grabbed his attention and he looked up. Hux glanced around to see Phasma backing up slowly, hands raised non-threateningly but Ren growled and reached his own hand out towards her.

Hux turned back to Ren, trying to block his view of Phasma. He didn’t know why she’d freed him but Hux truly didn’t want her dead, they’d been friends before all this happened. ‘Don’t. Just let her go.’ Ren spared him a derisive look. ‘Kylo, leave her.’ He stared into Ren’s dark eyes, willing him to listen, and finally Ren’s gaze returned to him and he gave a jerky bob of his head. Hux nodded at Phasma and she inclined her head in acknowledgement of her life being spared before running away.

Ren broke the binders on his wrists with the Force and Hux leaned on him, the adrenaline wearing off and pain searing into him again. ‘Take me back to the ship, please.’ He whispered and Ren helped support him as they walked.

When they entered the ship Hux pushed Ren off him and locked himself in the refresher. He spat blood into the sink, watched it run down the drain in sick fascination. Looking in the mirror was a mistake, his face was a mess. He glanced away to tug his shirt off carefully in order to check his ribs. There were bruises on his arms from being grabbed, patterns of fingers that dug into his skin and he shuddered -large hands gripping his arms, dragging him, forcing him against- No. He shook his head to dislodge the memories, heedless of the pain caused by the motion. He wiped hard at the blood on his face, reopening the wounds, letting fresh red drip into the basin to make patterns on the white.

‘Hux?’ Ren knocked and walked in without waiting for a response.

Hux was positive he had locked the door and he turned to glare at Ren. ‘I’m fine.’

Anger flashed in Ren’s eyes and he raised his hand. Hux instinctively flinched away but Ren’s fingers were gentle when they touched his face, a contrast to his harsh tone. ‘You were going to let them take you.’

‘I was trying to protect you.’ He wanted to sound firm but it came out as a whine.

‘You need to let me protect you sometimes.’

Hux shook his head in disagreement, he had to be the strong one, had to keep Ren safe. He let Ren slide an arm around him though, resting his head on a broad shoulder.

‘Let me help you.’ Ren murmured, stroking his back. ‘Take a shower and then I’ll put some bacta on those bruises.’

Hux nodded, letting go of Ren reluctantly. ‘I don’t think I can…’ He motioned at his boots and Ren nodded in understanding, kneeling to help him remove them. Hux stripped the rest of his clothes off without any shame, then stood under the shower with his eyes closed and his hands braced against the wall until some of the pain subsided.

To his mingled relief and dismay Ren was still there when he opened his eyes and stepped out. Ren waved a bacta tube that he pulled out of Hux’s reach when he made a feeble grab at it. ‘I’ll do it for you.’

He wanted to snap something back at Ren but couldn’t think of a retort so he sighed instead. ‘I’m supposed to be taking care of you.’

‘My injuries are healed. And I don’t mind looking after you.’ Ren smiled slightly, almost tenderly.

Hux knew that meant something but couldn’t figure it out in his current state and let Ren tend to him without further complaint. Ren was careful rubbing the salve in, and he lingered over Hux’s broken ribs and cheekbone, doing something that made his skin tingle strangely. ‘What are you doing?’

Ren frowned in concentration. ‘Healing you. Be quiet.’

Hux was too tired to argue with him, especially when he didn’t feel like talking anyway.

When Ren finished he handed Hux a pile of clothing and left to let him get dressed by himself. He wasn’t sure if he liked being alone or not but Ren was waiting outside the door to take Hux’s hand and tug him gently towards their shared bedroom. Hux didn’t even want to protest, he was too hurt and scared and, pathetically, being near Ren made him feel safe. Ren pulled him down on the bed and Hux curled up into his chest, letting Ren put an arm around him. His other hand stroked across Hux’s hair in a soothing repetitive motion that lulled him to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for child abuse, flashbacks, suicide.

Hux sat huddled on one of the couches and stared vacantly at the wall, listening to Ren move around, the noises quiet and unremarkable. He had offered to deal with the chores today and Hux was still too shaken by his beating to complain, especially because it was obvious that Ren was trying to be nice. It bothered Hux that he was being useless but he couldn’t seem to think straight after yesterday’s run-in with the First Order, they needed a new plan and he was in no shape to be making one right now. A dark shape loomed over him and he tensed before realising it was only Ren coming over to sit next to him. Ren smiled at him reassuringly but when he reached out his hand the motion was too sudden, too close and Hux cringed before he could stop himself.

‘Easy, it’s alright.’ Ren murmured, threading his fingers through Hux’s hair and he sighed and leaned over to slouch against Ren’s shoulder. Hux closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Ren’s body, the gentle hand in his hair. ‘I’ve hidden the ship in an asteroid, we should be safe here for a while.’ Ren told him and Hux nodded, willing to trust Ren’s judgement of the situation.

Hux would have been content to stay like this forever, a desire he didn’t feel like dwelling on, but Ren had other ideas. ‘Do you want to talk?’

Hux scowled as Ren disturbed his serenity and pulled away from him. ‘No.’

‘You were crying last night. And…’ Ren hesitated. ‘I’ve heard you cry before, at night, when you think I’m asleep.’

Hux glared at the wall, unable to look at Ren. ‘It’s nothing, not compared-’

‘To me?’ Ren sounded sad. ‘It’s not a contest. Something bad happened to you-’

‘It was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter.’ Hux said it as dismissively as possible.

‘Then why were you crying?’ Ren’s voice was soft and insistent and Hux couldn’t figure out how he had managed to turn everything around on him. He wasn’t supposed to be the emotional mess and Ren the stoic, calm one and he didn’t like the role reversal at all.

Hux turned his angry glare on Ren. ‘Do you want to talk about what happened to you?’ He hissed.

‘No.’ Ren met his eyes, held them. ‘I’m not ready to talk. But I’ll listen.’

He looked away again, determined to keep quiet, to keep control of himself but Ren’s supportive presence did make him want to speak. To finally be able to tell someone about what had been done to him. ‘My father was… not a nice person.’ He winced, that was putting it mildly. ‘He did things to me that I’ve tried very hard to forget.’

‘What things?’ Ren asked with dangerous emphasis.

Hux glanced over at him, realised what he had inadvertently implied. ‘Not that. Everything else, but not that.’ He laughed, heard the edge of hysteria in it as he felt the memories start to creep in. ‘My father was a manipulative, controlling bastard. Nothing I ever did was good enough and failure meant punishment.’ -braced against a wall, bloody welts tearing across his back, trying to count the lashes, the beating starting again when he failed to do so properly- ‘I did everything he demanded to try to prove to him that I wasn’t worthless, that he didn’t have to hurt me. He was an abusive monster and I was terrified of him.’

Ren was watching him with something that was dangerously close to pity and Hux couldn’t bear it, staring at his hands clenched in his lap instead. The memories kept flooding into him, even as he tried to force them back. -the sharp pain of a backhand across his face - his father’s voice telling him he was worthless and weak- He closed his eyes against the images.

‘I tried to kill myself once, to get away from him.’ He couldn’t really remember what his father had done to him after he had attempted suicide, he saw it in flashes in his nightmares sometimes though, screaming until his throat was raw and agony that ran over his skin like blood and please, father, stop. His control over himself was slipping away just like his control over the rest of his life and none of his usual tricks for forgetting were working. He squeezed his eyes shut hard enough to see patterns behind his lids that resolved themselves into visions. His father standing over him, blood on his hands, blood on the floor. Hux could taste it in his mouth and he bit his lips to stop the whimper that rose in his throat.

Something touched his arm and he flinched, the movement bringing him abruptly back to the present. He opened his eyes to see Ren crouched beside him, his hand on Hux’s forearm, he looked worried.

‘Hux…’ He hated the tenderness Ren put into his name and he angrily shook off the hand on him.

‘I won. I became exactly what he wanted, strong and powerful, but I did it for myself. I won.’ He insisted. And now he’d lost. His mind always circled back around to that problem like a caged animal. Everything he had worked so hard to achieve, gone to save someone else in a single selfless act he had never imagined he would be capable of.

‘I’m sorry.’ Ren said softly, Hux wasn’t sure if it was meant for his words or his thoughts. Ren reached up to run his fingers across the healing cut on Hux’s cheek, he wondered idly if it would scar.

‘I don’t regret saving you.’ Hux said, knowing it was the truth, that he would gladly sacrifice anything to keep Kylo safe. Kylo studied him for a long moment as if sensing what he was thinking and then leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and gentle, a chaste pressing together of their lips and Hux could taste the salt of tears between them, realised he was the one crying. He reached up to grab Kylo’s arms, pulling him into his lap and Kylo’s hand wound into his hair as Hux opened his mouth in an invitation. Kylo took it, sliding his tongue into Hux’s mouth to lick into him, being overly careful of his injuries and Hux sucked on his tongue in impatience. He put his hands on the thighs braced on either side of him, feeling Kylo’s muscles tensing as he rocked lightly against Hux, the movement more distracting than arousing.

When they finally broke apart both of them were panting. The hand in his hair tightened and Kylo nuzzled at his neck. ‘I want you.’ _I want to be inside you._ Kylo continued in his head.

Hux knew this was a bad idea, that it would only lead to trouble later but his rational mind couldn’t compete with the image Kylo’s words had conjured. ‘Then take me.’


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the sex chapter. I can't believe I wrote this, omg.

Kylo smiled against his skin and stood abruptly, pulling Hux up after him. He didn’t waste any time in heading straight for their bedroom, tugging Hux along by the hand. They paused at the edge of the bed to hold each other again, Kylo’s hand sliding up under his shirt, his mouth against Hux’s neck. Hux ran his fingers through Kylo’s dark hair and felt him flinch. He froze immediately. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah.’ His reply was a shaky breath against Hux’s shoulder.

‘If you’re uncomfortable, we don’t have to do this.’ Hux wanted to stroke his back but was afraid to move.

‘Just...don’t put your hands near my neck. I think I’ll be ok with anything else.’ Kylo sounded unsure though.

‘Tell me if you don’t like something I’m doing and I’ll stop.’ Hux promised, waiting until Kylo nodded before pushing him gently away to get his shirt off, wincing slightly as his bruises protested the movement. Kylo’s eyes were fixed on him, roaming across his body to each bit of newly bared skin as he removed the rest of his clothes and dropped them on the floor. The scrutiny made him blush faintly, and he tilted his head to give Kylo a challenging stare, receiving a slow smirk in return. He stripped too fast to give Hux any time to appreciate what he was seeing and then he was backing Hux towards the bed.

Kylo shoved him down onto it and Hux didn’t resist, falling onto his back, letting Kylo climb on top of him to straddle his hips. Hux took a moment to enjoy the sight of Kylo’s muscular chest above him, reaching out to run his hands up equally muscular thighs. He leaned over, pressing Hux into the bed to lick hot, wet trails across his skin.

 _Freckles._ Kylo sounded pleased as his tongue ran over Hux’s shoulder. He flushed in embarrassment, he’d never liked them. _I like them._ Kylo said with utter conviction, still licking at him. Hux’s face heated even more at that and at his own thought that maybe the freckles weren’t so bad if Kylo liked them this much. The feel of his tongue was better than thinking though, especially when Kylo slid down to take one of Hux’s nipples into his mouth. He squirmed at the sensation and Kylo put his hands on his shoulders to keep him in place as he licked a path up to Hux’s throat. He clutched at Kylo’s back, running his fingers across the scars there.

Kylo tensed under his touch then relaxed as Hux kept caressing him. ‘You have warm hands.’

‘You’ve said that before.’ Hux frowned, his hands slowing as his attention was diverted, trying to remember.

‘It’s nice, don’t worry.’ Kylo ground down on him and Hux gasped at the pleasure, digging his fingers into Kylo’s back again. ‘Focus, Hux.’

‘You’re in my head, aren’t you.’ Hux asked when he caught his breath, even though it wasn’t really a question.

 _I can’t help it._ Kylo sounded apologetic. _When you’re this close to me, I can’t stay out._

Hux supposed he had invited Kylo to take his body, he didn’t really object to sharing his mind as well, not with Kylo naked and pressing down on him in a way that felt so good. He did want Kylo inside him though, and since there was nothing on the ship he was really willing to use as lube...

‘Get off me.’ Hux pushed at Kylo and he backed off, sudden confusion and hurt flickering on his face before understanding replaced them.

‘Oh.’

Hux was only half-watching him, already sliding off the bed onto his knees, tugging Kylo’s legs around to drape off the side. ‘Oh.’ He agreed, smirking as he rubbed his cheek against Kylo’s hard cock, his hands stroking across tender inner thighs. He squeezed them tighter as he licked along the side of Kylo’s erection, feeling the muscles under his hands tensing. His mouth was still healing but this was going to be worth a little pain and he closed his lips over the head of Kylo’s cock, tongue lapping at his slit over and over until he could taste pre-cum.

‘Hux.’ He liked the way Kylo moaned his name, the hand that tangled in his hair as encouragement. His own erection was heavy on his thighs but he ignored it in favour of focussing on Kylo’s reactions. He slid a finger over to touch Kylo’s balls, pressed on the skin behind them, feeling his body jerk, fingers tightening in Hux’s hair. Hux pulled off to watch Kylo squirm for a moment, their eyes meeting. Kylo’s were wide and awed and Hux grinned up at him, licking the head of Kylo’s cock delicately before swallowing his whole length. Hux hadn’t done this since he was in the Academy and he gagged briefly, drooling around Kylo’s cock before he managed to relax.

 _Fuck._ Kylo hissed, he was using the hand in his hair to try to fuck his mouth and Hux dug his fingers even harder into Kylo’s thighs. Stop that, he snarled mentally.

 _Sorry._ Chastised, Kylo’s fingers relaxed slightly, his legs trembling where Hux gripped them. Hux would have smiled if he could, instead he focussed on the feel of the hardness in his mouth, the taste of him. Kylo moaned in pleasure at the shared thoughts, swallowing convulsively as Hux did the same. He ran his tongue along the underside of Kylo’s cock, looking up to see Kylo staring down at him, expression caught in a sort of rapture. It was flattering, really, Hux thought.

Kylo’s mouth dropped open more and his fingers tugged at Hux’s hair almost painfully in warning. He sucked harder in response, watched Kylo as he came, eyes closing, panting in pleasure. Hux pulled back his head enough to taste Kylo on his tongue, licking his softening cock clean. Kylo was shuddering under him still and Hux wiped his mouth, feeling rather smug.

He was achingly hard though and he reached down to stroke himself. Kylo suddenly slid gracelessly off the bed, landing on top of Hux and pinning him against the floor with his greater weight. He pulled Hux’s hand off his cock, replaced it with his own and Hux gasped and pressed into his grip, clutching at Kylo’s back. Kylo’s mouth closed over his as he whimpered, thrusting into the warm, firm hand on him. He came quickly, pleasure flooding him as he stared blankly at the ceiling, Kylo’s sweat-slicked skin rubbing against his in just the right way. Kylo kissed him deeply, stealing Hux’s panting breaths and he could barely breathe when Kylo finally shifted off him.

‘Was it good for you too?’ Kylo asked, lazily running a hand across his chest, through the semen on his stomach. Hux glared at him, still trying to get his breath back. Kylo laughed. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

‘You’re lucky there’s a rug.’ He finally muttered. A rug that needed to be cleaned now.

Kylo kept laughing as he stood, dragging Hux up with him, then pushed him back onto the bed, dropping down beside him. They lay with their shoulders touching, letting sweat and cum dry on their skin as they recovered.

Hux was loath to even think it but he would have been perfectly happy to stay like this. Well, maybe a little closer, Kylo was warm and probably comfortable. He tried to slide over a bit without making it obvious and made an undignified squeak as Kylo rolled on top of him.

‘We’re not finished.’ Kylo purred in his ear, sounding unfairly sexy. He straddled Hux’s hips, sitting up and raising his hand. Hux watched him curiously. A bottle of something flew to his hand and Hux gave him a hard look.

‘No. Whatever that is, you are not putting it inside me. You can wait until we get some real lube.’

Kylo flushed an interesting, bright crimson that spread all the way down his neck and mumbled something. Hux was momentarily distracted by the desire to kiss Kylo’s heated skin then his brain caught up to Kylo’s words.

‘You bought lube? When the hell did you do that?’

Kylo shrugged, the blush not fading from his cheeks. ‘A while ago. I’ve been thinking about this. About you.’

Hux liked the way Kylo said that far too much for his own peace of mind. He pressed up against Kylo, rubbing their cocks together, both of them starting to harden again. Kylo moved back, hooked one of Hux’s legs over his shoulder. Hux watched him as he dipped his fingers into the lube, coating two of them. He raised his other knee to brace his foot against the bed, spreading his legs as Kylo lowered his fingers to rub against his entrance. Hux moaned encouragingly, he wasn’t usually vocal or on the bottom and he somehow didn’t care about either right now because it was Kylo doing this to him.

‘I want you so much.’ Kylo’s voice was almost shaking but his fingers were still teasing, not quite sliding inside Hux, rubbing small circles against him. Hux tried to move, to force those fingers where he wanted them.

‘Then stop teasing me, damn you.’ He wished that hadn’t come out as a moan.

Kylo laughed and his warm, slick fingers finally pressed into Hux, making him writhe when Kylo’s searching fingers found the right place, his cock aching at the pleasure. He wound his fingers into the sheets, trying not to touch himself. The hand gripping his thigh pushed his leg up further, opening him wider, Kylo’s fingers sinking deeper inside. He knew Kylo was reading his mind, let him feel how good it felt to be stretched, how much his body ached for more. Kylo moaned at that, his fingers digging into Hux’s leg and he twisted his fingers hard, making Hux buck against them, whining.

‘Fuck me already.’

Kylo gave him a sudden wicked grin, sliding his fingers in and out slowly. ‘I am fucking you.’

Hux tried to keep a scowl on his face. ‘I meant with your cock.’ He put as much derision into the words as he could but cut them off in a gasp as Kylo shoved his fingers back inside him. Hux clenched around them, sending a wave of pleasure across both their minds in revenge. Kylo shifted uncomfortably and Hux grinned in victory.

The feeling of loss when Kylo pulled his fingers out made him spread his legs wider in need, impatiently waiting for Kylo to find the lube again and slick up his cock. He couldn’t stop himself from whimpering as Kylo started to push into him, too agonisingly slowly and carefully. Hux pushed back, draping his leg across Kylo’s hip to force him in harder. Kylo’s cock rubbed against his prostate and then Kylo abruptly slammed into him in one stroke. The sudden pleasure made Hux scream, then clap a hand over his mouth to stifle the noise, flushing in embarrassment.

Kylo looked terrified. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you-’

‘Does it feel like you hurt me?’ Hux could hear his attempt to sound irritated failing miserably as his words ended in a needy moan. He opened his mind to Kylo, willing him to feel what he felt, how much he liked being filled. ‘Move, now.’ He ordered.

Kylo snickered. ‘Bossy.’

Then he began to thrust and Hux arched his back, desperate to push back onto the cock inside him. Kylo’s hands were hard on his hips, controlling his movements and it wasn’t deep enough, fast enough.

‘Harder, please.’ He didn’t care that he was begging. Kylo did as he asked, fucked him mercilessly, and he whined and writhed as each stroke hit him perfectly. Hux reached down to his cock, desperate for friction there and something invisible grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the bed. ‘Fucking cheater.’ Hux snarled, twisting against the Force restraining him.

‘Shut up, you like it.’ Kylo’s dark eyes were wild but there was something in them beyond simple lust, something comforting and warm and Hux felt oddly reassured as they stared at each other. He let his mind go blank, everything narrowing to Kylo’s eyes and the feel of his cock. Kylo hissed something that might have been Hux’s name as he came, falling forwards on him.

Hux’s wrists were freed as Kylo lost control and he pulled Kylo down harder on top of him, grinding into him mindlessly in search of his own release. He closed his eyes and moaned as Kylo’s hand found his cock, stroking him hard until he came with a soft whimper that he hoped hadn’t been Kylo’s name. Hux held onto Kylo, strangely wanting to keep him close, running his hands over sweat-slicked scars. Kylo rested his head on Hux’s chest, breath hot against his skin.

He stayed there as long as he could before he became uncomfortable. ‘I need to take a shower.’ Hux shoved weakly at Kylo and he groaned and rolled off him, both of them hissing at the shivers of pleasure that ran across their skin at the movement. Hux wove his way unsteadily to the refresher, heard Kylo groan again and get up to follow him.

‘Stop groaning, I’m the one who was just fucked so hard I can’t walk.’ He felt Kylo come up behind him, wrap a supporting arm around his waist. Hux grunted, in thanks or annoyance he wasn’t quite sure.

‘You’re welcome.’ Kylo whispered in his ear, his tone suggesting he wasn’t talking about helping Hux get to the refresher. He managed to get in the shower by himself and Kylo gave him a few moments of privacy before getting in with him. Hux frowned at the interruption and Kylo pushed him into the wall, rubbing against his body. He leaned his head back and moaned slightly, it felt good to be pressed together again and he let Kylo kiss him, wind a hand into his hair.

They somehow managed to get mostly clean and back to the bed, avoiding the wet spots as they collapsed back onto the sheets. Kylo pulled him close, combing through Hux’s messy hair with his fingers, Hux sighed more in satisfaction than annoyance and cuddled up to him.


	11. Chapter 11

Hux had offered to assist with the repairs but Kylo had refused and he didn’t seem to need help anyway, not when he could use the Force for everything. It kept Kylo’s hands and mind occupied with something other than Hux though, which gave him some vital time to think. Hux scowled at the datapad he was typing into as he formulated his plan, a name he hesitated to even give it, the word made his idea sound grand and workable and it wasn’t, not remotely. But he was more determined than ever to keep Kylo safe at any cost, and there was going to be a price to achieve that. Hux had always known he was going to pay it, he just hadn’t realised how high it would be until now. He avoided thinking about it too hard though, unsure of just how easy his mind was for Kylo to read after last night.

 

Hux prepared himself for an argument before he started speaking. ‘We have to go to the Resistance, seek refuge there. I’m counting on your mother taking us in.’

Kylo’s face darkened in rage as Hux had expected. ‘No-’

‘Shut up, Kylo. You want me to make plans, that’s what I’m doing.’ Hux snapped at him. To his surprise Kylo did shut up, he kept glowering though. Hux ignored it. ‘We can’t keep running forever. The First Order already found us once and they’ll do it again.’

‘Then we’ll fight-’ Kylo interrupted.

Hux pointed at him, snarling. ‘That’s what I’m saying, if you’ll listen for half a minute. We can’t spend the rest of our lives running. Or fighting.’ He added in exasperation as Kylo opened his mouth again. ‘And sooner or later the Resistance will be after us as well, I suspect they are already.’ The Resistance had spies in the First Order and even Snoke wouldn’t have been able to hide their disappearance forever. Hux stood up to restlessly pace the room. ‘If we approach them first we hold a stronger position, we can negotiate. It may have been too long by now since we left but if any of the information we have on the First Order is still current that gives us something to bargain with.’

‘We’ll be traitors.’ Kylo’s expression was aghast and Hux couldn’t keep from sighing.

‘We’re already traitors, or did you fail to notice that? What does it matter if we tell the Resistance everything we know?’ Especially since it’s the only way to protect you, Hux didn’t say that out loud but he was unsure if Kylo had heard it or not.

‘But…’ Kylo couldn’t seem to think of another argument.

Hux stopped walking to watch him. ‘We’re running out of options and this is the best one. We have information that could help bring down the First Order, bring down Snoke. Don’t you want that?’ He wanted to see Kylo’s reaction to that statement.

Kylo slumped in his chair. ‘Yes, maybe… I don’t know.’

‘I know you don’t. But you trust me, right?’

He looked up at that. ‘Yes.’

‘Then trust that I’m doing the right thing to keep us safe.’ It wasn’t really a lie, just a slight bending of the truth.

Kylo finally nodded in agreement. ‘So how do we get in contact with them?’

 

Communicating with the Resistance was the easy part, the First Order had known some of their channels and Hux was able to use one to get in contact. The hard part was convincing the Resistance that they just wanted to talk, that it wasn’t a First Order trap but as Hux had thought news of their defection had reached the Resistance and eventually they managed to work out the terms of their meeting.

 

They agreed on a neutral, semi-inhabited planet. Kylo couldn’t stop fidgeting as he guided the ship in for a landing and Hux was too busy trying to suppress his own nervousness to yell at him. He didn’t want to fight anyway, not when so much was hanging in the balance of what was about to happen. They both stared out the viewport at the other ships arriving across the field from them, watching a mass of bodyguards exit one ship first, weapons raised to scan the area carefully.

Hux turned away first, putting his hand on Kylo’s shoulder as he stood. ‘Come on.’

As they approached the ramp Hux paused and Kylo hesitated as well, giving him a confused look. It was almost selfish, Hux thought, but he would never get another chance and he needed something to remember, to hold onto. ‘Kiss me?’ He touched Kylo’s cheek and got a smile in return as Kylo leaned in, fingers tangling in Hux’s hair. Hux kissed him as deeply as he could, trying to memorise the shape of Kylo’s lips, the way his tongue wound around Hux’s, how he tasted. It wasn’t enough but it was all he could have.

‘What’s wrong?’ Kylo gazed at him in puzzlement as they broke apart and Hux looked away, keeping his mind as closed as he was able to.

He smoothed back his hair in an attempt to seem more presentable. ‘One last kiss in case this goes badly.’ Hux laughed, it sounded cold and bitter and Kylo’s expression hardened in response. Thankfully he didn’t say anything trite, just turned and walked down the ramp.

Hux followed him onto the grass outside. He could feel the accusing weight of Organa’s stare even over the distance between their ships, a glare that only became heavier as she came closer.

‘General Organa.’ He inclined his head in a gracious gesture.

‘Hux.’ She replied flatly. Her eyes were very cold.

‘I have an offer for you I’d like to discuss. Just the two of us.’ He attempted to remain polite, antagonising her wouldn’t help him bargain. She looked at Kylo, who was pointedly not looking at her and motioned Hux to follow her a short distance away.

He held out the datapad. ‘This is everything I know about the First Order. Some of it may be out of date, but if any of this information is still valid it will give you a major advantage. Starkiller Base should be your first priority.’ He knew he didn’t need to tell her that, she was a good enough general to realise it on her own, he just wanted to drive the point home. Hux felt a pang of loss at the thought of Starkiller Base being destroyed, he had personally overseen so much of the effort that had gone into building it but it was nothing when measured next to Kylo’s importance to him.

Organa eyed him suspiciously. ‘And what do you want in return?’

‘I want you to keep Kylo free from any retribution by the First Order or the Republic, and I need you to let me leave here. Alone.’

‘Why?’ She demanded.

It was a fair question and Hux debated about lying before surprising himself by answering honestly. ‘Because you’re Kylo’s mother and I know you’ll help him. He deserves to be safe and happy. After everything that’s happened I think you can afford to give him that kindness.’

Organa’s eyes widened and he wondered what she saw in his face, heard in his voice. ‘And you?’

Hux wondered why she bothered asking, it was obvious she only cared about the information and her son. Making sure he would really be gone, perhaps. He knew he shouldn’t be revealing so much to her but he kept talking despite his better judgement. ‘I’ve no desire to be your prisoner, I’d rather take my chances out there. And the intelligence I’ve given you will be worth more if the First Order doesn’t realise you have it, if they think I’m still on the run. You could even make a token effort to chase me if you want to prolong the ruse.’

She considered him thoughtfully but didn’t question him again. ‘Those are all your demands?’

‘They are.’ He confirmed.

She took the datapad from him and flipped through it, skimming the contents, then nodded. ‘Then I agree to your terms.’

Hux nodded somberly in return.

‘Why did you defect, Hux?’ Organa asked abruptly.

Hux didn’t even glance at Kylo. ‘Does it really matter?’ He asked equally as bluntly in reply.

She looked over at Kylo and seemed suddenly much older. ‘No.’ She said quietly.

He went back to where Kylo was standing and seething. Hux wanted to kiss him again but didn’t dare, he had had his last chance already and he couldn’t risk tipping Kylo off now. ‘Your mother wants a word.’ He said instead.

Kylo frowned even more and stalked over to her.

Hux didn’t waste a moment and took off running for the ship. He slid into the pilot’s chair and was in the air before the distracted Kylo realised something was wrong. Hux could see him on the ground, frantic, being restrained by Organa and her guards.

_Hux!_

He kept his thoughts blank.

_Hux, don’t leave me here, you bastard! I love you!_ The scream in his head was so loud and his vision blurred with tears as the ship left the planet and jumped into hyperspace.

‘I love you too.’ Hux said to the empty silence that surrounded him.


	12. Chapter 12

#### Three Years Later

 

The cantina is filled with the hum of voices as the customers watch the latest news. Since the destruction of Starkiller Base, the First Order have been losing more battles than they win and they’ve finally agreed to a new treaty with the Republic. It’s being signed today, on the three-year anniversary of that first major Resistance victory. He doesn’t usually drink but this is a special occasion and he raises his glass in a mocking salute to the various governments involved. The intricacies of the politics don’t matter to him, there will always be a demand for killers, thieves, and whores, and he makes a less-than honest living out of being all three. He knocks his drink back and drops the cup on the table carelessly, it’s a dingy, dull metal that still manages to show him enough of his reflection that he grimaces.

He runs a hand absently through his long brown hair as he turns to watch the cantina instead. He hasn’t survived all this time by being unaware of his surroundings but right now he has a specific reason to be scanning the crowd, he’s trying to get off this planet. It’s not a huge concern, there’s always some ship’s captain willing to grant him passage in exchange for a fuck or two on the way. He has better things to do with his few credits than pay for transport he can easily get for free and he’s still attractive enough despite the toll his life has taken on him. There, a drunkard at the counter, hitting on another patron who is having none of it, he saw the alien earlier and knows it owns a ship.

A commotion at the door momentarily diverts his attention, a Wookie is pushing past someone who has unwisely decided to argue with it, he dismisses it as unimportant. He doesn’t even glance at the man who comes up to his table, it isn’t unusual for him to be approached for jobs of one kind or another and he’ll delay his trip for the right amount of credits. He pushes a chair out with his foot, inviting the man to sit down.

‘Hey kid.’ The voice is vaguely familiar, something he heard in another lifetime, and he looks up to see a man he recognises as Han Solo slide into the chair he offered. ‘You’re a hard man to track down.’

‘That is the point.’ He doesn’t bother asking how Solo accomplished it, he doesn’t really care. ‘What do you want?’

‘I promised my son I’d find you and bring you back to him.’ Solo looks worried and upset.

He snorts and doesn’t reply, his attention drifting over to the alien he’s chosen as his next target.

‘Hux.’

He turns back to Solo, narrowing his eyes at the name. ‘No, not him. Not for a long time.’

Solo’s face changes to wariness. ‘What should I call you then?’

‘Anything you want.’ The words are as smooth and practised as the leer that accompanies them.

Solo hesitates at that, then seems almost sad as he speaks. ‘He still loves you, you know.’

The knowledge hurts him in a way he thought he was numb to, a bright spark of longing for what he’s lost igniting inside him and he lashes out in anger to protect himself. ‘Then he’s a fool. And you’re an even bigger one for coming here.’

‘No argument there.’ Solo mutters.

He ignores the comment and continues. ‘Look at me, I’m not worth it. Just leave me alone.’

‘Answer one thing for me first. Do you still love him?’ Solo fixes him in place with a stare and as much as he wants to he can’t lie, not about that, not about the only thing he has left to hold onto in his miserable existence.

‘Yes.’ He says quietly. ‘That’s exactly why you need to tell him you didn’t find me. Tell him I’m dead, that he should move on.’

Solo shakes his head. ‘I’ve failed him before, this is one promise I intend to keep.’

‘Look at me.’ He hisses, leaning forward, brushing his hair back from the scars on his cheek. He can see Solo following the patterns with his eyes, across his face, down to his partially open shirt that does nothing to conceal more scars on his chest, sleeves rolled up to show off the ones on his forearms and hands. He waits until Solo meets his eyes again. ‘You really want this near your son? I’m worthless and ruined. I’ll get on my knees and suck you off right here for less credits than this drink cost me.’

Solo’s eyes fill with pity and his tone softens. ‘The war’s over, and because of the intelligence you gave us, you’ve been pardoned. Don’t you get it? Ben, Kylo, is safe now. You’re safe now. You don’t have to live like this anymore. The two of you can be together again.’

The hope that surges up in him at those words is far crueler than any abuse he’s endured and he hates Solo for making him feel it. Solo has no right to come and try to save him now, not after three years of degradation and suffering and carefully burying all the fractured pieces of himself deep inside so he doesn’t have to feel how much everything hurts. He tenses, his hands reaching for his knives, ready for a fight he doesn’t even want.

‘Don’t do that kid, I’ve got back-up.’ Solo points a thumb over his shoulder at the Wookie and a girl standing at the counter, both of them glaring in his direction.

He has no choice then, Solo has made that clear enough, and that at least is no different from what he’s used to. ‘Fine. I’ll go with you, provided you drop me off at the nearest spaceport when we’re done with this farce and you’ve all finally realised I’m not worth saving.’ He already knows he’s not going to stay with Kylo, that it’s not possible after everything that’s happened. He left Kylo once because he loves him, in order to protect him, and this is the same situation.

Solo is obviously unhappy though. ‘If that’s what you want, kid.’

 

He refrains from speaking to any of them on the journey, staying in one of the cargo holds away from the others. The girl tries to talk to him once but he refuses to answer and she eventually gives up and leaves him alone. He sits in silence, falling into the vacant trance that he uses to keep himself from thinking. It’s something he’s perfected in the years he’s lived on the edge of society, the things he’s done, that have been done to him, are better not to dwell on.

 

The Resistance base is still on D’Qar, and the fresh air and greenery are a welcome change, most of his time is spent in far-less pleasant places.

There’s a trio of people talking animatedly near the landing zone, obviously waiting for the Millennium Falcon to arrive. They’re gesturing and laughing, and he hesitates on the ramp to watch them. One of the group, a tall man with dark hair, throws his head back and laughs and the sound is so familiar it hurts. He’s given this to Kylo, has sacrificed everything so that Kylo can be happy, safe, with his parents, with his friends. He can’t ruin it now, won’t disturb Kylo’s perfect world with what he’s become.

He shakes his head in denial, about to retreat back into the ship but then Kylo turns to greet his father and it’s too late. Kylo’s eyes go from his father to him and widen in recognition. He’s suddenly, painfully aware of his unkempt appearance, the shabby clothes, the scars. Shame fills him, he’s broken past fixing and Kylo is all bright happiness and light. But Kylo is already running towards him before he can escape, skidding to a stop in front of him to look him over.

He glances down, unable to meet Kylo’s dark eyes, not wanting to see the inevitable rejection in them, and then Kylo unexpectedly leans in and kisses him. He clutches at Kylo for support, pressing against him. The kiss is better than he remembers, he can actually feel it, it’s real the way nothing else in his life has been since they parted. Kylo’s tongue slips inside him, licks at the scars in his mouth and on his lips, one hand in his hair and the other around his waist pulling him close. Treating him like he’s something precious and valuable that’s finally been returned even though he can’t believe any of that is true.

They’re both breathless when they have to stop and he leans on Kylo as he runs a hand through messy brown hair, touches his face to gently trace the faint lines of scars on his cheek. He flinches in humiliation, turning his head away so his hair hides the marks.

‘Hux.’ Kylo sighs and the name sounds so right when he says it. ‘I love you.’

He can’t reply, just kisses Kylo again desperately, clinging to him. He rests his head on Kylo’s shoulder as he closes his eyes against his tears and Kylo strokes his hair gently, cradling his shaking body.

‘Stay with me.’ Kylo’s voice is soft and demanding.

He wants to so badly, wants to be safe and loved, but he knows he should leave instead, that a damaged thing like him has no place here. Except Kylo’s arms are still wrapped around him and he can’t bring himself to give up that warmth, not again. ‘Yes.’ He finally chokes out. ‘Yes.’ He raises his head to look into Kylo’s eyes as he forces the words past the sob caught in his throat. ‘I love you.’ He starts to cry, pathetically overwhelmed by his reawakened emotions but he needs to say more and he hopes Kylo can hear his thoughts. I only left to protect you, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I love you, please forgive me…

‘Shh. It’s ok. I know.’ Kylo whispers as he rubs soothing circles across Hux’s back, hugging him tightly. It’s wonderful and comforting and Hux buries his face in Kylo’s neck, holding onto him as hard as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That counts as a happy ending, yeah?  
> Anyway! Thanks for reading and all the lovely comments. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you all enjoyed it.


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